NASA has officially declared that they will not be taking any extroverts on their newly-planned manned missions to Mars – at least not in the foreseeable future. It has been determined that the cramped confines of the craft that the three or four ‘astronauts’ will be living in for their next three years or so – with everything on the spacecraft pre-set, pre-determined and pre-programmed – do not make the best environment for a runaway mouth. NASA’s head-borers have established beyond a shadow of a doubt that the cooler guys aboard Mission Mars could snap from all the natter, and the mission could become irretrievably jeopardized.
That means, simply, that I am out of the race. These NASA guys are no fools and if I were to apply for one of them coveted slots, it is a foregone conclusion that they will dredge up everything about me and the first thing they will come up with is this blog. And once they get onto this blog, of course, it will be game up for me!
The word count itself would be enough to have the paper containing my name headed for the shredder at supersonic speed!
The alternate scenario is that if NASA’s calculations are correct (about the mouth, I mean), and they make the mistake of botching their screening process and allow me aboard that spacecraft, at takeoff we wouldn’t have made it through Mach 1 (I guess that means gear no.1) before smoke thick enough to be seen with the naked eye would be spotted seeping from the craft’s cockpit – and you can bet the smoke wouldn’t be from gas fumes!
So, I surrender! I give up. I will stick to this blog and continue boring my readers with my long, ‘extrovert’ posts.